This Christmas, the White House treats us to dog-cam shots taken from the eye-level of America's Presidential pup.
Given this week's events, I did not think it was possible to find a video more excruciating to watch or more embarrassing to the United States than the footage of an Iraqi journalist shot putting his shoes at George W. Bush. Oh...wait...I found one: The 2008 Barney Christmas Video from the White House.
My question: How much of this White House Christmas video mit Hund can you watch before your fight-or-flight reflex kicks in and have to stand up and run--not walk, but run? I made it through about 30 seconds.
OK, here we go:
Be honest: How long did you last?
Summing up: In the same week that a reporter calls George W. Bush a dog ( ! ) the aforementioned head of state issues a holiday greeting in which he and his family converse openly with (ehem...) a dog.
When the going gets tough, the tough talk to the dog.
The existential issue that emerges here should be obvious to everyone. Maybe we were all wrong about the shoe throwing incident in Iraq. Maybe it was not a protest so much as an announcement--an inter-species human rights declaration of sorts. Rather than insulting George W. Bush by calling him a dog, maybe the reporter was loudly and proudly stating his acceptance of the fact that George W. Bush is a man who talks to dogs. "You are a dog--whisperer!" Maybe the Iraqi reporter was not throwing the shoe at Bush, but throwing the shoe to Bush so he could in turn throw it for Barney to fetch?
Meanwhile, as everyone chews on those important questions, the U.S. economy drops ever harder onto its knees, hand clutching chest.
Meanwhile, working communities collapse with layoffs not seen in almost a century.
Meanwhile, the United States military descends deeper into the Iraqi meat grinder.
Meanwhile, 2008 Yuletide retail sales sink like a gingersnap in bowl of sour eggnog.
Meanwhile, parents across the country stare at their bank statements and wonder how they are going to weave the few pennies that remain into a season of joy for their children.
While America descends into the morass of fear and uncertainty caused by our current President, the White House invites us to steal away with a few warm and fuzzy dog-cam shots taken from the eye-level of America's Presidential pup--a canine, who, while not fantasizing about winning golf tournaments and Olympic medals, proposes and carries out a jingoistic holiday interior decorating scheme as a final tribute to the George W. Bush era of government. The blend of shock, incredulity, and stomach cramps I felt when I watched the first 30 seconds of the Barney Christmas I will not soon forget.
By comparison, come to think of it, that sour eggnog is sounding better and better.