FRAMESHOP:FRAMESHOP: DO NOT DISTURB

The Mouthy American Public Americans are just too mouthy these days. Not just mouthy: loud and mouthy, which is the worst kind of mouthy. "Stop the war!" "Don't break the law!" "Tell us the truth!" Yeesh. Is there no limit...

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Jeffrey Feldman, Editor-in-Chief
Frameshop, 09/26/2007
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The Mouthy American Public
Americans are just too mouthy these days. Not just mouthy: loud and mouthy, which is the worst kind of mouthy. 

"Stop the war!"  "Don't break the law!"  "Tell us the truth!"  Yeesh. Is there no limit to all these pesky demands barked by the American public at their elected officials in Congress?  Personally, I've had enough.  I can barely hear myself think anymore and I don't even live in Washington, DC.

So, I tip my hat (quietly) to our Senators and Representatives for doing the right thing to deal with this sudden rash of public mouthiness.  For example, last week the Senate passed a resolution in response to the hysteria whipped up by the apoplectic Republicans at the site of an ad from MoveOn.org in the New York Times.  That darned mouthy newspaper.  And today, the House passed another resolution condemning MoveOn.  Good for them.  One resolution is never enough when it comes to shushing the mouthy public.

In fact, I don't think Congress should stop with just these two condemnations.  What we need is a complete anti-mouthiness in America movement--culminating in a new act to be proposed and passed by the Congress.  Without a strong and comprehensive no jibber-jabber measure, the mouthy American public might just push the whole system over the cliff. 

Speaking Up For Peace And Quiet
So, I hereby call on the Congress to do what is necessary to stop all this incessant noise from the American electorate and pass the following joint measure:

Senate-House Unruly Times & Upholding Principles in America Act
(S.H.U.T. U.P. America Act)

The United States Congress hereby declares that any American citizen--either individually or as a member  of a volunteer citizen association--who feels the need to express a viewpoint about politics in print, in public or otherwise with words and out loud, shall not do so if it risks in any way shape or measure disturbing the delicate sensibilities of the elected members of the state and federal governments. 

To wit, should any American be so moved to issue forth in disturbing or indelicate tones, such that may bring about a general or specific assault on the principles of peace and quietude of members of the American government, than such citizen should make every effort to keep such statements to himself/herself, or at the very least to write them down on a piece of scratch paper and then throw it away without making too much noise. 

Any mouthy citizen or mouthy citizen group that does not uphold this Congressional principle, so jointly endorsed, will hereby, from this point forward, be condemned by separate non-binding resolutions in each chamber of Congress at regular intervals.

Just for safe measure, it may be necessary for the House and Senate to debate and refine the S.H.U.T. U.P. Act for several weeks, pushing aside all less urgent, second- and third-tier matters, such as: Iraq, healthcare, safe food supply, collapsed U.S. manufacturing, airline safety, failed education, imploding housing market, gun crime in schools, government fraud, telecom antitrust violations--all of which are important in a we'll-get-to-them-when-we-get-to-them kind of way, but they are nowhere as urgent as the need to deal with the mouthy American public.

So, let's get busy, Congress!  It's time to pass the 2007 S.H.U.T. U.P. Act.  And then, finally, we can have some peace and quiet around here.   

© 2007 Jeffrey Feldman, Frameshop

© Jeffrey Feldman 2007, Frameshop

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